Its late... but its on my mind.

Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

My every moment of every day seems to scream this verse lately. Most people associate this with some sort of romantic fulfillment, but I really think its anything. I know for a fact it sums up my experience in life after leaving the HA. All of my lame times of thinking it was a joke, and that they hang you out to dry... its all simply because I put my hope in something that was created by man and inevitably going to fail me.

I'm learning that within whatever sort of relationship I'm in - if the Lord is not my foundation, it will crumble. My heart will grow sick, and in conjunction it will effect all things closest to my heart. Talk about life re-evaluation!


I found that within all of this revelation I tend to get down on myself. As though I'm this huge failure for missing the whole point of something so basic and elementary. Then I find this:

Psalm 42:5

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.




I dont have anything profound that can wrap this up with. I suppose I'm just thankful that I serve a God who is faithful enough to keep my world spinning... even when I'm completely unfaithful. I feel so undeniably loved.

Lord, create in me a pure heart. Let it desire to worship and glorify you. May my hope be in you and you alone.