Its late... but its on my mind.

Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

My every moment of every day seems to scream this verse lately. Most people associate this with some sort of romantic fulfillment, but I really think its anything. I know for a fact it sums up my experience in life after leaving the HA. All of my lame times of thinking it was a joke, and that they hang you out to dry... its all simply because I put my hope in something that was created by man and inevitably going to fail me.

I'm learning that within whatever sort of relationship I'm in - if the Lord is not my foundation, it will crumble. My heart will grow sick, and in conjunction it will effect all things closest to my heart. Talk about life re-evaluation!


I found that within all of this revelation I tend to get down on myself. As though I'm this huge failure for missing the whole point of something so basic and elementary. Then I find this:

Psalm 42:5

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.




I dont have anything profound that can wrap this up with. I suppose I'm just thankful that I serve a God who is faithful enough to keep my world spinning... even when I'm completely unfaithful. I feel so undeniably loved.

Lord, create in me a pure heart. Let it desire to worship and glorify you. May my hope be in you and you alone.

I love my new job.

I would have never thought that I would ever honestly say "man. I love being a custodial supervisor!" ... And given any other place than Teen Mania, I most likely never would have. Interns put a smile on my face. Especially new ones.

I'm lucky enough to see the passion in their hearts sparked when they first get here. In the mornings I drive through campus to get to my office and I see them worshiping, and on their face in their own little quiet place. This past week they were introduced to their ministry placement. I understand that custodial is the last place on earth many would want to be. I expected teary eyes, and sad faces. To my surprise, most were joyful!

They humble me. I remember where I was when my placement was announced. I wouldn't put it past me to say that my face probably looked like I just watched my cat get ran over. One of my interns gets dizzy easilly resulting in sickness. I asked her if she wanted to step out for a while give herself time. Red eyed she shook her head no and continued to scrub.

I wish I had that heart. I wish that when life passed me a lemon I knew to make lemon-aide. I wish I knew NOT to take the easy way out. I'm excited for this year. I can't wait to serve with these amazing young men and women.

I love being custodial supervisor... and blessed beyond belief.

Major shot out to the coolest roommate ever.

Unfortunately, my "last night" in the guard booth never really happened. I was really looking forward to it, too! I stayed up a little later than normal the previous day so I could guarantee myself a good sleep to prep me for my all nighter.

I finally woke up at about 6pm [ shudder ] due to a call from Megan. (its moments like these that make me wonder why I pick such obnoxious ring tones) She had informed me that we were going to have company and to be prepared. I hung up and rushed to the shower so that I would be out on time. While completing my coveted after-shower rituals; life suddenly came crashing down.

The spots.

For those that have chronic migraines know EXACTLY what I mean. The blinding lights, the skewed vision, ringing in the ears, sudden lack of balance... yes. It all invaded my life once again. I've never stuck a sharp object into my eye while using a rotating motion, but I'm guessing its on quite a similar pain scale.

I'll have to admit, I'm not exactly what we like to call a "trooper" in times like these. Generally, I crawl up into a little ball and cry myself to some sort of understanding that it will only last a FEW more hours. This time, I decided to buck up and be brave about it. After all, my mom is only 985 miles away. I calmly, and slowly made my way out to the living room to inform my roommate and our friend that the spots had begun and my enthusiasm for social gatherings was rapidly declining.

Normally responses for times like these are "Oh dear. I hope you feel better." or "well... maybe if you just sit for a few minutes it will go away" my personal favorite is "You're too young to be having migraines!" Let me tell you, Megan ROSE to the occasion! Not only did her and said friend venture off to wal-mart to buy me Excedrin Migraine, plus caffeine (thanks Jon) But she also brought me juice, and a cold rag for my forehead.

After FINALLY being able to take the drugs I sat up and said something along the lines of "do you think its already somewhat digested, because I have a feeling its on its way back up.." Megan tried to calm me down and convince myself that if I calm down the nausea would leave. Unfortunately she was wrong, and I was kneeling before the porcelain thrown.

The best part is - Megan was there at my side with a cold rag... and gagging.

God bless you, Megan Baker!

Change is here yet again.

The past couple of months have been amazing. I was blessed to work the graveyard shift in the Guard Booth at Teen Mania. Interesting experience to say the least. I am however, very grateful its coming to an end. Tomorrow is my last shift.

I thought it would be good for memory sake to share several things that I have learned over the summer. I hope my experience can better equip you or a loved one for a future summer at the Honor Academy.

1. Curfew was designed for the sanity of all people non intern. I never thought I would have embraced this crazy rule so much. Thank you Dave, thank you Ron.

2. When people dress up as monkeys and try to frighten you, they're only equipping you for something much worse to come. Also note: monkeys make pretty rad friends.

3. Bugs have a vengeance, and said bugs infest Texas. Please be prepared.

4. Prank calls went out of style in 1987.

5. Interns have amazing hearts. They like to serve. Thank you, interns.

6. Volunteers keep this place going in the summer. Love the volunteers.

7. Rain is great. Even 40 consecutive days in a row.

8. "The Office" is quite the comedy relief. If not yet addicted - please seek season one and two now on DVD.

Well - Thursday marks the new season for the year. I will be Custodial Supervisor. [ How ironic it is that the one person that hated custodial more than ANYTHING is returning... voluntarily. You're funny, Lord. ] I couldn't be more excited. There are going to be hurdles, and there is going to be serious growth! So - please pray for my expected 20 interns. Not only do they have to be on custodial, but they get me as a "boss". I have so many fun ideas. :) Cant wait!

My first taste of summer...

Its practically a sin to admit that summer at TM is quiet, relaxing and cool. Up until Monday at about noon that is exactly what mine has been. Shh. Don't tell anyone.

One of the "roomies" is moving out this week. She had informed the "other roomie" that she was going to cancel our electricity. The "other roomie" had forgotten about it - Thus leaving us without electricity for what seems an eternity.

I've had the harsh realization on how much I actually depend on that power switch. Suddenly, the over-hundred-dollar bill we receive each month seems well worth it.. In fact, this revelation nearly makes me want to TIP good ol' TXU. Whoever said you can't put a price on happiness is full of it.

I understand how big of a materialistic jerk I may seem. But lets face it, I am BLESSED to live in America... and while I have this. I'm going to soak it up. So out with the "other roomie" (with dog) singing their way out of boredom each night, and bring on the less than 82 degree home, ceiling fan, hair dryer, and lights on in the restroom during the midnight run!

...And on that note - Congratulations to Sam and Lisa! They had little Bridget. :) yay!

I'm bringing.... blogging back?

Its true.

I tried to remain faithful to the Xanga community, but lets face it: Blogger is much better. Its for the wise, mature, "better people" kind of crowd. Obviously, I could no longer deny my true blogging identity.





Okay - the truth is: Xanga is dead, and I hate facebook. Not to mention - EVERYONE thats SOMEONE has a blogger. (hi mom)








The rumors are true. I have decided to once again grace the great nation of Texas with my presence. It thanked me by sending me an official jury summons. I would have settled for flowers, or a pie... I'm flattered. Really. Thank you, Texas.



There are many things to love about my new home. The skies, the flatness, violent ants... But I have to say that the southern hospitality is mind blowing.




Our neighbors for instance, are a PRIME example of true love and kindness. Meet the Donkey family Ed, Edmond, and Edwina. Unfortunately, this picture is the last you will see. We have lost communication since a recent "incident" involving a hoof and Wilbur the wonder dog.




All kidding aside.. Texas has been a wonderful change of pace. Being with my old TM friends (and making new ones) has certainly been a highlight. I'm going to TJC in the fall, and will be on staff in August.




What more could a girl ask for?